Questioning Marriage in my 20’s: A Personal Journey
Would it make sense to even get married?
Why is this even a question for me right now? Over the past year, I’ve been revisiting this thought—not because I feel the pressure to get married, but because I’m genuinely questioning what marriage means to me.
Reflecting on My Twenties: Growth Over Conformity
My twenties have been a whirlwind, and I feel like I’m just starting to figure things out. At the start of the decade, I held tightly to the Southern Christian Baptist values I grew up with. Over time, I’ve reevaluated those beliefs, questioning what truly aligns with the person I’m becoming.
Now, I find myself caught between societal expectations and the desires I’ve discovered within. The pressure to “live a certain way”—to marry young, settle down, and follow a traditional path—can feel overwhelming.
But I’m grateful I didn’t rush into marriage. This decade has been a time for self-work. Making mistakes and learning more about myself. I’ve learned to embrace my individuality, evolving from a rule-following, sheltered girl to a free-spirited nonconformist.
Time Flies: Lessons from a Decade of Change
It feels like I went to sleep at 18 and woke up at 28.
No one tells you how fast life moves after high school. Ten years have flown by, but when I look back, I see how far I’ve come. Growing up, I followed my mom’s advice to “not talk to strangers,” which left me with few close friends. Now, I thrive on striking up conversations, though I still struggle to maintain connections because of life’s busyness. Therapy has been transformative—helping me find confidence and easing my anxiety.
When I think about what I’ve accomplished, it’s more than I ever expected. As a teenager, I dreamed of becoming a doctor, working tirelessly until old age. But when I realized medicine wasn’t my calling, I had to confront a deeper question: What do I truly want?
Redefining My Path
That answer is constantly evolving. I’ve discovered that I thrive when I’m learning and doing a variety of things.
Right now, I’m pursuing a career I love, learning to code, studying Spanish to prepare for a potential move to Costa Rica, reading multiple books at once, and preparing to graduate next week. Staying busy and continuously learning brings me fulfillment.
Where Does Marriage Fit In?
Marriage and family? They sound great in theory, but I’ve realized I’ll be okay with or without them. I’ve learned not to rush or force anything out of desperation. Instead, I trust life to unfold naturally.
That doesn’t mean the “biological clock” isn’t on my mind—it lingers, a quiet reminder of societal expectations. But I’ve decided to focus on what I can control: continuing to grow, learn, and build a life that aligns with my values.
Whether marriage and family become part of my story or not, I trust that everything will happen in its own time. What matters most is staying true to myself along the way.
Navigating Societal Expectations in Your 20s
How have you navigated the pressures of societal expectations in your 20s? Have you felt the same conflict between tradition and individuality? Let’s start a conversation in the comments.
By:Bria
Dec. 4th, 2024
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