Girl Talk Diaries #1

by Bria
September 12, 2025
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Girl Talk Diaries Entry #1

The Journey to Self-Love: Lessons Learned from Heartbreak

The funny thing about life is that every time you think, “I could never be that person,” it ends up being you.

Once upon a time, I firmly believed in saving myself for marriage. It wasn’t just a goal—it felt like the right path. I thought it would make me stand out, make me special to the right man. This belief was shaped by family values and stories like my great-grandmother’s: she married at 14 in the 1930s, successfully saving herself for marriage.

But life had other plans for me.

Holding Onto Traditions

For years, I focused on being the “perfect” woman. I didn’t date until after college, believing anything less than marriage wasn’t worth my time. When I graduated, I began to question those beliefs. At 24, I found myself wondering, What if I sleep with someone? Does that mean we’ll get married?

This mindset led me to try dating apps like Tinder, especially during COVID lockdowns. I ended up matching with my college crush, and it felt like fate. For a year and a half, I thought this man was the one.

When Reality Hits

As things progressed, I sought guidance from a trusted psychic. She warned me:

He wasn’t the right person.
He was likely seeing others.
Our connection was karmic, stemming from a past life where he mistreated me.

At the time, I dismissed her advice. I was convinced I was fighting for love, just like the romantic narratives I’d grown up with. But things unraveled quickly.

One day, he hit me with the, “I’m not ready for a relationship.” I held onto hope, thinking it meant not right now. When I told my mom, saw through it. She even warned me not to go further if I wanted something serious because he could end up using me, but I didn’t listen.

Spoiler alert: she was right. He wasn’t looking for anything meaningful, and I became a placeholder until he found someone else.

Lessons in Heartbreak

Getting over the situation was incredibly tough. It took therapy, self-reflection, and time, but it taught me a profound truth: the love I was seeking from him wasn’t about him at all—it was about the love I never received.

My father passed away in a gym accident when I was young, and a few years later, I was in a car accident that erased my memories of him (I had Traumatic brain injury and mine resulted in retrograde amnesia. I literally woke up from a coma not knowing who anyone was). That void left me searching for love and guidance in all the wrong places.

It wasn’t about this man; it was about filling that emotional gap. And for a time, I tolerated mistreatment because it felt like enough.

Choosing Self-Love

Today, I’m on a journey of healing. Here’s what’s helping me along the way:

Therapy: Regular sessions to unpack and process my emotions.
Celibacy: A conscious choice to focus on my personal growth.
Meditation: To center myself and find inner peace.
Fitness and Nutrition: Exercise and vitamins to nurture my physical health.

I’m finally learning to love myself, and it feels transformative.

The Takeaway

The love you’re searching for might not come from someone else—it might be the love you need to give yourself.

Remember: It’s never too late to start prioritizing yourself. Healing takes time, but it’s worth every step.

By: Bria

Dec. 3rd, 2024