Celibacy: Sex, Energy & Self-Worth

Who would’ve thought? It turns out, they had it right from the start. Growing up, I believed that saving yourself for marriage was essential to being a good woman. Over time, I strayed from that belief. I’ve never been one to sleep around; I always had expectations for myself.

Twisted Beliefs and Energy

As I mentioned in another post, I used to believe that waiting to have sex until marriage would guarantee a forever partner. Then, I flipped that idea. I thought, “Why not find someone I believe could be my forever partner and sleep with him? Would that mean we’d be together forever?” I leaned into the belief that if I slept with someone, marriage would naturally follow. But eventually, I realized that’s not how it works.

Looking back, I now see how much my thinking was influenced by Disney movies and the glamorous romance storylines I consumed growing up. I thought life would play out like a fairy tale. But the thing about those movies is, the story always ends after the kiss.

Now, I understand the wisdom in being cautious about who you share yourself with. Maybe not necessarily waiting until marriage, but approaching sex with more awareness than I did. I waited until I was 24, but even then, my understanding of sex and its implications was limited. As adults, we don’t talk enough about sex or the risks it entails—not just physical risks but emotional and spiritual ones. While sex can be beautiful and deeply fulfilling with the right person, it can also be harmful if shared with the wrong one or entered into for the wrong reasons.

From my own experience, I’ve learned that sex creates energetic bonds that can be both positive and negative. After my first time, I remember feeling incredibly insecure, and I didn’t understand where that feeling was coming from. It wasn’t until years later that I realized the person I was involved with was in a place of deep insecurity himself. He felt stuck in life, and without realizing it, I absorbed that energy. I started to believe that I wasn’t good enough, when in reality, he was projecting his feelings onto me.

Reflection: The Energy Is the Big Picture

Looking back, I see how he used me to make himself feel better. That dynamic left me drained. He took my energy, and it fueled him, while I was left with his uncertainty and negativity. Though I stayed on my path in life, I could still feel the impact of that energy, and it took time to shake off.

It’s only now that I’m fully grasping how powerful sex truly is. It’s not just a physical act. As women, we carry the energy and ability to create life. That’s profound. If that isn’t a life-changing realization, I don’t know what is. We bring life into the world, and that’s something sacred. Not enough people appreciate just how incredible and important that is.

Sadly, I think the way sex is portrayed today has made us lose sight of its deeper meaning. The porn industry, for instance, has stripped sex of its intimacy and reduced it to something purely physical. A few weeks ago, I read about a young woman who shared that she had slept with over 100 men. While her choices are her own, I couldn’t help but reflect on the spiritual and emotional toll that might take. Sex isn’t just a physical act—it’s an exchange of energy. When we’re not intentional about that exchange, we can end up feeling depleted or disconnected from ourselves.

This is something we don’t talk about enough. Connecting deeply with someone through sex can be a powerful and transformative experience. When approached with intention, it can even be a tool for manifestation and fulfillment. But when we treat it casually or carelessly, it can leave us feeling drained or even lost.

The Bigger Picture and Societal Issue

Unfortunately, many young women today are exploring casual sex without fully understanding its implications—whether through hook-up culture or platforms like OnlyFans. It’s concerning how far we’ve strayed from understanding ourselves and our worth. Who is to blame? For me, I take responsibility for my own choices, but I also wish my parents and the education system had done more to prepare me.

Growing up, my mom warned me about the risks of herpes and HIV/AIDS, but she didn’t mention other STDs or STIs like gonorrhea or HPV. I didn’t even know what an STI was until college, and when I heard about it, I thought it was a scam because it had never been discussed in my home. That gap in education left me unprepared for the emotional and physical consequences of sex.

To any young woman considering sex: think carefully. It’s not just about pregnancy or STDs—it’s about the energy and emotions you’re exchanging with someone else. Value yourself, and don’t let a man define your worth. Understand who you are and the incredible power you hold. You are a creator of life, and life flows in and through you. Don’t throw that away.

Jan. 24th 2025

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