Why Do We Always Prioritize the Male Gaze?
The Disillusion of the Male Gaze.
Why is the male gaze so important? Especially in our 20’s? Our 20s often feel like some version of the Hunger Games. Whether you’re seeking a partner for financial, emotional, or physical security, it feels like a time of conforming to societal norms. But is this intentional, or is it automatic—like a program running in the background?
We grow up playing with dolls, watching Barbie movies, and sleeping under pink comforters, so it’s no surprise we internalize the idea that marriage and union define womanhood. This concept is everywhere. We see young women getting married in their early 20s all the time…or at least I did when I was younger. At first, they believe they’ve been swept off their feet by someone who will complete their lives. And then he cheats, or you grow apart. And we see it all the time on TikTok, where the image that was portrayed as a loving marriage, isn’t that at all.
What happens if he cheats? Or if it falls apart after a few years? While I haven’t experienced this personally, I’ve seen the effects within my friends—women left as single parents, struggling to navigate life with their children.
For me, my experience has been the opposite. I’ve felt the societal push to find my person and reproduce, but something about it always felt wrong. There was one instance where I felt something real—but it turned out to be lust. Beyond that, I’ve never met someone who made me want to create a life with them. For a while, I thought something was wrong with me. Maybe I wasn’t beautiful enough. Maybe I was too smart.
But the truth was neither.
Living Life on Your Own Terms
I realized there was a part of me—a quiet, knowing voice—telling me everything I needed to know about someone before I got too involved. Call it intuition. Call it a spirit of understanding. Whatever it is, I had to learn to trust it.
For years, I was caught up in the programming that I needed to find someone and start a family while I was young. I tried to force it, even though I already knew. Learning to trust that voice was pivotal. We all have it, and when we ignore it, bad things happen. I can in fact confirm: terrible things happen when we ignore that knowing.
But what about when we know better? Aren’t we supposed to do better? That’s my goal—to live life on my own terms. Not by society’s standards, not by what some male (or female) podcaster says. This life is beautiful, and it’s ours to shape however we want.
For me right now, living life on my terms means being my truest, most authentic self—refusing to force myself into anyone’s box. I am uniquely made in the image of the Creator.
And so are you.
By: Bria
